Trigger warning: please note that Anna’s story below includes mentions of birth trauma and coercion.
Anna
Anna suffered a horrific birth full of coercion in 2023, compounded by the fact that her disability birth plan was never seen or followed during her labour. The trauma is long-lasting and has led her and her husband to decide not to have any more children. Here she bravely explains in her own words:
“I was admitted into hospital on 25 Sept 2023 for an induction, as I was an older mother with a high BMI (I had no other issues and was considered healthy) but this was standard practice. I was given the balloon and sent home for 24 hours but the progression was slow. I returned the following day and was given a pessary that was going to take an expected 24 hours and so was admitted to the induction ward (this was a side ward with another lady who was also having induction). We were told we would be in here until active labour then moved to the labour ward. After 22 hours or so the pessary fell out, and then I was given an examination and told they might need a plan B. However, I was progressing at this stage and it was admitted I would likely have gone into labour in a more natural way at this point.”
“At this stage, I was given prostin gel which essentially sent me into a fast, intense labour (precipitous) which then was higher risk. And for someone like me with a mental health condition, it unsurprisingly caused crisis. I was triggered throughout birth with the lack of support, help, ignoring my questions, and being given treatment without my full consent.”
“Prior to this, I had spent months (a very unhappy experience with midwives and clinicians) all ignoring my concerns about the triggers of birth given my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder due to childhood sexual abuse. It was obvious that birth would be a trigger. As I had a disability and stated this time and time again, it was decided I could complete a second birth plan (specifically to meet my needs as a disabled person) alongside the birth plan I had already completed. Two weeks before the birth, we created this birth plan with the peri-mental health practitioner. This was never submitted to Badger notes. No record was ever made, and no one had any clue of my disability. I was let down.”
“I felt there were a lot of coercive experiences during my labour and son’s birth. From a lack of informed consent about the induction methods (had I known about the risk of precipitous labour I would have declined the prostin gel), to lack of pain relief – I asked for an epidural but was told I could not have one.”
“I was contracting for hours with no internal or external examinations (they didn’t believe I was in labour despite my contractions app showing them). I was also not offered antibiotics during labour despite being found to have Strep B during pregnancy.
Straight after my waters broke, I was informed there was no bed available for me. I was standing, with no pain relief, in agony, scared, and the nurse saying I could call my husband but I had gone mute. I was apologising trying to mop up the fluid, saying I was so sorry to cause a mess and be a bother. ”
“I eventually was put in a wheelchair, but I was naked down below being moved to the labour ward, with men all around me, trying to not push. I was scared. Finally, I was in the labour room dilated to 10cm with no pain relief offered. I had to shout at them and she went ‘oh yeah nearly forgot’. My husband was on his way and arrived just in time, they were getting ready for me to push.”
“I wanted to change position; they wouldn’t let me. I didn’t want forceps, but they tried to force me. If it wasn’t for my husband, I wouldn’t have had any advocates. I pushed for an hour and was determined to do it this way. The staff gave me an episiotomy which I did agree to as the alternative to forceps but was told “If this doesn’t work, we will have to use forceps”.
“I was in surgery for two hours after to stem the blood-loss (I lost the same amount of blood as a caesarean) and I was in agony because of being on my back for five hours in the same position. After birth and returning from surgery there was no aftercare, no tea or toast, and we were given an hour to get out of the room.”
The impact of this experience for Anna and her family cannot be understated.
“After suffering depression, PTSD and suicidal thoughts after birth (the protective factor was our son) I went through an intense few months of being unwell and am still suffering the negative impacts of this. My disability was ignored and the birth plan not even reviewed. No one had any idea I needed support despite my pleas for this to be considered.
“My husband and I no longer want any more children as a result of this. I have very few memories of my baby as a baby. I had to take voluntary redundancy as I couldn’t return to my job. It caused marital problems with my husband and we fell out with several members of the wider family due to isolation and depression. We were also reported to social services due to the mental health issues both myself and my husband faced – they did provide some support to help our family in crisis.”
Reflecting on the experience, Anna said: “I was psychologically harmed with some physical scarring. My life may not have been at risk, but my wellbeing was shattered and my experience of being a new mum broken.
“The system is failing ALL women. Not having a voice or choice is making the experience medieval. No one would go to hospital with a broken leg and be refused pain relief. This is being done as a matter of course, because they do not have the staff to manage this properly.”
Read our report ‘End Coercion in Maternity Care in the UK’